It's time to shine! - My moment of truth.

I was going to give you a disclaimer but then I realized this is my blog. My outlet. I am complicated, I am complex, and all of that because I am me. Oh and I think I am the only one that reads my blog anyway:)

So, I am not sure what I have been waiting on. I mean, I can give you a million excuses as to why I haven't started or what I think is keeping me from doing it but then again, acknowledging it would then mean that I would have to change it. Or at least, make an attempt to change it. I am a confident person, or at least I try to be. But another characteristic of mine is always trying to improve. Improve via education, improve via helping people, improve via experiences and yes improve via that little thing called exercise and healthy eating. I sometimes allow myself to be critical of my body but only because I know that I am capaple of being better. Of looking/feeling better. I try to experiment with different types of exercise because afterall...I get bored easily :). I have tried aerobics, belly dance, salsa, hip hop, yoga, boot camp, running/exercising on my own and am currently enrolled in ballet and jazz. The one thing that is the most difficult for me though is the healthy eating. I would be lying if I said that I haven't thought about trying Quick Trim or some other types of diet pills but then I remember what some of the most fit people have told me. "Maria, if it were that easy and if there was a magic diet pill, everyone would be thin". And I truly, truly believe that.

I have learned many things through my many journeys towards looking "HOT"! , all of which should help me "improve" my appearance. Now, I don't mean to sound ungrateful because the Lord knows that I am thankful for every part of me. Even my "target areas" :D. I sometimes look at myself and wonder what things I would change if I had the opportunity. And it is then that I remember that I do have the opportunity. The things that I would improve are all things that I have complete control over. I can improve them by making better choices in my daily life and by "making" time to exercise. Truth be told, I haven't made time to exercise like I use to. In fact the last time I really exercised was August 18, 2009.

Then I allowed myself to get stressed. I started making excuses and I lost sight of my goal. To be honest, I haven't felt like "myself" since then. I mean, yes I am still the positive person that I was when I was exercising but I remember very clearly thinking to myself that back then I had to make time for the gym. That I had to make a conscious decision and an effort to make good choices to change my habits. Change those habits that were resulting in me not being everything that I could be.

So tonight, I make a conscious decision to change that. The attitude, the habits, eliminate the excuses and to not lose sight of my goal.

I gain inspiration through many things. Sometimes it's seeing beautiful people that appear to also be healthy. (Insert Victoria Secret Fashion Show clip here). Sometimes, it is reading an influential quote or simply remembering that I have all of the necessary tools to be and do anything that I want to do.

Dr. Phil has said "You can't change what you don't acknowledge". So here and now I choose to lay it all out. I will list all of the excuses that I make for myself and then I will list all of the good advice that I have heard about how to go about reaching my goals. Then, I will make a decision and with that a promise/goal. I will use this blog post as my journal of sorts. I will write in it daily and will use it to track my food intake. I will list in it what I ate and what decisions I made regarding exercise. And then I will take the lists that I make tonight and will allow myself the freedom to add to them if later I find that I am making more excuses for myself.

I do not view the desire to improve oneself as a weakness. The only weakness I see in that is when you give up on improving yourself. Even though I may recieve criticism from others that don't understand me, I will continue on my journey.

This is the moment of truth. I will not fail.

And then there were the lists.

My habits
Eat whatever I want when I want it.
I don't eat breakfast daily.
My decisions for lunch are influenced by others.
I will choose to have lunch with others over having a healthy lunch.
I do not like to "purchase" sandwiches when I know that I could have made them at home.
I do not deprive myself.
I change my plans for others because I prefer the company. (Gym time can easily turn into lunch time with friends)


My excuses
It's too cold outside. (Even though I would work out inside)
I am too busy.
I am too tired.
Need to spend that time with my family.
I didn't prepare my workout clothes the night before.
I didn't prepare my lunch/snacks for the day.
The ever famous "I will start tomorrow".
I need a goal to work towards (a party, a reunion a wedding, something)
The weather is yucky. (It dampens my mood)

The benefits
Looking/feeling great.
Stress reduction.
Time with friends/family while working out.
Better night's rest.
Additional confidence.
No guilt.
Love the way my body feels.
Mental well-being.

The plan
Okay, right about now I just want you to know that I am already beginning to doubt myself. Wow....seriously! I mean it is 11:28PM and I am thinking...it would be great if I could get up and pack my clothes and go to the gym tomorrow. (Pack my lunch too, but clothes would be a start) I am slowly talking my way out of it. But I won't. Today is a new day. It's 12/1 and in addition, I will post this blog which means someone out there will hold me to it. Let it be you!! :D

[Complicated Maria returns.]
Back to the plan.

So, I will try and take baby steps because afterall, that is what will help get me there.

1. I will try and have breakfast tomorrow morning and pack some snacks/lunch.
2. I will pack my clothes to go to the gym during lunch. I will reschedule lunch with my friend.
3. I will write down everything that I eat.
4. I will add a blog entry for 12/2.
5. Replace my beverages with water.

Some tips I learned along the way.

• If you drink it, ink it. If you bite it, write it.
• Small portions - use a small plate if you have to.
• 5 small meals. breakfast lunch and dinner and two snacks
• Your metabolism is like a fire. If you give it too much (food) at once you will put it out. If you don't give it anything (food) it will burn out. You need to give it little by little (food) continuously.
• Make your plans and stick to them. Obstacles are things you see when you take your eyes off of your goal.
• Make wiser food choices despite the temptation.
• When faced with an unhealthy food choice, remember how you feel afterwards.
• See yourself how you want to be, then achieve it.

My goal

Take a before picture on 12/2. Take measurements of my abdomen, thighs, shoulders, hips, calves, biceps. See myself for what I am and be thankful for who/what I am. Accept all of my flaws and realize that there is only one of me. :D

Work on my self improvement plan and analyze my results on a montly basis.

12/1 - Meal/Drink Choices

Morning tea - 1 cup Green Tea no sweetener

2 chocolate "poker chips" haha found them in the breakroom! ay ay ay! I tell ya!

Lunch: Chipotle. 1/2 a chicken burrito (didn't eat the tortilla) - ingredients: rice, black beans, chicken, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce. (My fave!) chips and medium salsa. Dr. Pepper

Dinner: 2 flour tortillas, seasoned ground beef, potatoes and refried beans. Dr. Pepper

Drank Water just before bed.

Exercise: None (Does watching Biggest Loser / Victoria Secret Angel Boot Camp count haha)

So there. I have shared my insecurities...all for the sake of self-improvement. Failure is not an option. --> But can most definitely be the result of decisions not made and opportunities wasted.